For the record, I normally wouldn’t share a video like the back half of that video. I’m not ashamed of it or anything, but I was manic at the time, wasn’t making a lot of sense, threw out unfinished thoughts and ideas and… yeah. I just thought it would be cool to share another side of me that isn’t often seen (this in-depth) on Youtube.
For the record, I don’t expect anyone to click every one of those links. I just try to make it easier to investigate the sources. And all that rapping shit I was snapping about at the end was thanks to getting hyped up by [Surgeon General], someone that happened to send me a message on Youtube about his videos earlier in the week. Check one out:
Bipolar Disorder, Mania and all That Good Stuff
I’d first off like to say that I can in no way speak for all people with bipolar disorder. Everyone’s experience with it is going to be different. Thinking you understand bipolar disorder from what you see on the media would be like thinking you understand Black Culture in America from watching movies and MTV.
What you experienced in the back half of that video is small window into [“Hypomania”], something that I experience quite often. Here are some of the characteristics:
# pressured speech; rapid talking
# inflated self-esteem or grandiosity;
# decreased need for sleep;
# flight of ideas or the subjective experience that thoughts are racing;
# easy distractibility and attention-deficit (superficially similar to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder);
# increase in psychomotor agitation; and
# steep involvement in pleasurable activities that may have a high potential for negative psycho-social or physical consequences.
I bolded everything I was going through… I’d recommend going through [the Wikipedia article] or doing some Google searches if you’d like to know more about it.
I’d really like to shed light on the positive aspect of being “bipolar” over the course of this blog. The media attention bipolar disorder get PISSES ME RIGHT THE FUCK OFF!!! Every time there’s school shooting, media says “bipolar/random mental illness.” [Every time a chick snaps on the subway and does the soulja boy on the FACE of the elderly], media says (funny but) “bipolar.” Fuck that shit. PLUS, I get back to the US (after being gone for 5 years) and now they’re diagnosing little fucking kids with the shit (and giving them medication that don’t fully understand the effects of which yet.)
I thought I was going to explain more elements of the video, but I guess I’m ranting instead. If there’s something in the video you have a question about leave a comment.
I’m also fucking pissed with the state of how they deal with being bipolar in this country. They want to dope you the fuck up to the point that you lose all of the benefits of being bipolar (fuck yes there are benefits, like having MAD energy and sleeping an average of 6 hours a night.)
Random Thoughts About the Video
I should take a second to clear up what was going through my mind when I made that video. I don’t talk about it much in my Youtube videos, but I want to be an Entrepreneur. A man of SERIOUS BUSINESS. My Idols include Oprah (because of her influence), 50 Cent (because of his presence, style and business sense… and influence), Russell Simmons (because spirituality, branding skill, and impact he has made on my life because of reading about him, I can get into that more later), Warren Buffet (because of his ability to understand the value of a business and buy them when they’re under valued), Bill Gates (because he’s the grand pimp of the internet), Jackie Chan (he is my ORIGINAL hero, the first person I ever looked up to) and Richard Branson (for making me feel like it’s OK to have 100 business ideas.) I listed them in no particular order.
My point is I am aiming VERY high. I keep this kind of mentality in my head at all times, but at the same time I spent my last $150 to rent a tux yesterday and now there is $4 in the bank. 😀 (Don’t worry about my financial situation. I never work, but can. 😛 )
What happened Thursday is I approached someone about investing in some of my ideas so I can take them to the next level. He was interested in sitting down to talk about it some more next week. That got me excited. On top of that I’m going to be a panelist for a seminar on business video later this week and I’m also going to be on the cover of a the [SOHO Business Tube] magazine in July (the photoshoot is also this week.)
Now that I’m more relaxed I know that things could go a number of different ways. Nothing is guaranteed. Etc. But at the time of me recording that (all hypomaniaed up) I KNEW what was going to be happening (I certainly feel very strongly about it 🙂 .)
Anyhow, this is a different lighter side to being bipolar. I think the shit is WICKED fun once you get it under control. I am currently managing things without medication, BUT I can’t say that I would recommend that for EVERYONE that is diagnosed as being bipolar. Like I said at the beginning, it’s different for different people. I DO believe that there are a lot of people currently diagnosed and taking medication that would probably live fuller lives without it, but… I’m still trying to get my shit straight before starting that battle. 🙂