A Chauvinistic Valentine’s Day in 3 Easy Steps

Step 1

Don’t buy flowers, candy, champagne or anything like that. It’s a waste of money anyway.

Step 2

Do something cheap like seeing a movie. If you want to let your true chauvinism shine, back out of the movie and opt for HBO.

Step 3


If you correctly followed steps 1 and 2, step three is waking up to a breakfast of pancakes and bacon rollie things with cheese, while your wife cleans. YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary)

Valentine's Day Aftermath

Valentine’s Day

I’ve only recently started warming up to the idea of celebrating my birthday. The thought of celebrating Valentine’s Day (or any day that… ends with day, or something) has always made me think “bah humbug!” I actually had no idea Valentine’s Day was so close until I got a Skype call from Grandma telling me “Did you send your mother a card yet?” (Note: Grandma’s can use Skype. Crazy huh?)

I will try to be better prepared for up-and-coming holidays. Instead of Bah Humbuging them away, I can use them as an excuse to have good times (which is what I suppose they were designed for.)

The Dangers of Blogging

For balance, I’ll post my darkend eye after wife reads this post. đŸ˜€

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8 Responses to A Chauvinistic Valentine’s Day in 3 Easy Steps

  1. miltownmom says:

    An after you Mom blackens the other eye!!!

  2. J says:

    Step 1b or 2a

    To conserve funds AND have visual entertainment, make your own home movie. Doesn’t cost a thing and it’s romantic.

    Thank me later, M.

  3. Luvbeers says:

    When’s Valentine’s Day ???

  4. miltownkid says:

    LOL, now that’s a TRUE chauvinist!

  5. Frost says:

    I like the way you think. I remind myself of a joke.

    “A teacher starts her class and asks a question, ”If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” Little Johnny raise his hand and says:

    ”None, they all fly away when they hear the gunshot.”

    The teacher replies, ”The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.” Then Little Johnny says, ”I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ”Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”

    ”The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on” little Johnny says with a smile… “but I like your thinking.”

  6. ax says:

    happy chinese new year buddy đŸ˜‰

    ax

  7. Pyro says:

    @Frost: Best. Joke. Ever. You win at life.

  8. Mark says:

    I think those pork thingies are called “pigs in a blanket” or something like that.

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