Earlier today I had some really deep shit to talk about, you know, some life changing, earth moving, phase shifting shit. But alas, a few beers put that to rest. So now, because there’s a post-it on my computer about it and I have nothing to talk about (other than beer), we’re going to get into a story about my brother’s ass crack.

So… When I was a young lad and my brother was an even younger lad, he had this thing he’d do when he was done dropping a load. The thing he’d do is scream (at the top of his lungs) “MOM WIPE MY BUTT!!!” I would laugh (beacuse it was funny) and all was well in the universe. Until one day…

My brother yells “MOM WIPE MY BUTT!!!” and mom says “CASEY! WIPE YOUR BROTHERS BUTT!!” and I’m like “AAaAAAaaAAaAaAAHHH!” (in my head.) I walk into the bathroom, and there’s my brother, bent over, ass crack out, waiting for butt wipage. I rolled up probably half a roll of toilet paper around my hand and go in for the kill. BOOM! I wiped my brother’s butt :(.

Now you all know why I turned out the way I did.